It’s funny how children often think they know best. So sure of themselves and their decisions. Not wanting to open their minds and try something new but just wanting to go along with what they know and what is easy. It’s to be expected though, right? Kids grow up far too quickly and want to be the boss but of course it is our job as parents to rein them back in and to present new opportunities to help expand their minds.
The worry comes when you see parents that never challenge their kids, they just fall into step and go along with whatever the little one is asking for. How does that end up? With children so spoilt and used to getting their own way that they have no grip on reality and no resilience to deal with the set-backs and rebuffs that will come when they go to university or start to work.
Our job as parents is to help our children grow up to be well-rounded adults. That won’t always be easy and it certainly won’t always be fun but our guidance and correction will help them so much in the long run. I think there is a lot to be said for tough love; us being consistent and carrying through on a consequence when we have issued one is super important.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,” Colossians 3:23
If we teach our children that it is OK to be flaky and to say something one minute and then not to carry through, what happens when they have that first paid job but are too tired to get up in the morning? Well, they just choose not to and instead of working for their money and feeling good about a proper days work, they just ask us for a handout as they lost the job because they couldn’t be bothered to turn up.
I was really sad the other day when I read a post on Facebook about how a company is having trouble recruiting for their esteemed graduate programme. Why were they having trouble? Because it is an early morning start and the graduates don’t want to get up at that time of morning. My word, what kind of world are we now bringing our kids up in? One where they are so pampered and pandered to that they don’t have to make any effort anymore and they are not willing to put in a hard days work.
They are missing out on so much satisfaction and personal growth. I used to love falling into bed after a 12 hour day on my feet when I was a hotel trainee manager. I knew I had worked hard, learnt loads and achieved a real sense of satisfaction with the service I had provided. My JJ is 12 now, coming on 13 and already he knows what it is like to work and enjoy it. I have to admit that I do feel proud that my 12 year old willingly volunteers at the local food bank warehouse every other week. He also helps out with many different tasks at the conference centre where we live – marshalling races, being a parking attendant, helping in the tea room, joining the maintenance team or stock taking in the kitchen.
The girls want to be involved too, even though they are still only 8 they are happy to pick apples or price items in the bookshop. Of course the tasks they can be involved with have to be age appropriate but they love to help out. Kids like to feel useful and when we don’t allow them to do the simple things like prepare dinner, make their bed or hoover the lounge we take away their learning and rob them of their self-satisfaction.
“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35
Acts 20:35 reminds us that ‘it is more blessed to give than to receive’ and I want my children to be in the business of giving, to be generous in spirit and worldly goods. When we choose to focus on others, to serve, to work hard and to give away what we have then we will find true satisfaction.
In this age of instant gratification and sky-high expectations we have to ensure our children understand that things have value and they have to be earned and that means work in whatever form it takes.
Are you with me? Will you help your children to learn a strong work ethic?
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14 Comments
I do feel that a strong work ethic is something that some young adults these days lack. It feels like things were different when I was growing up, getting a job and going to work was more important than the hours you had to work and how much pay you received. You have picked up on something I am adamant about here as well, I never not follow through after a warning to my children, it is the worst thing you can do.
It is so sad how things have declined isn’t it? I’m determined mine will want to work and put in a good day’s effort.
I know my children think I’m very harsh sometimes because I don’t let them do everything they want to. I remember one graduate who turned up at my work who only lasted half an hour because he refused to do the filing!
Filing is surely a rite of passage that all new staff have to go through!
The lack of work ethic really frustrates me these days and it doesn’t help with children not being allowed to work until they are 16. My son is about to finish school and is really reluctant to find work
Yes that has made things harder. I was happily working aged 13 and bringing in my own money and appreciating it more. We are lucky here as the kids can volunteer and do real work.
Oh I agree with you completely a work ethic is so important
Glad to hear I am not alone Becky
I think that this lack of work ethic is a real worry at the moment. I remember having a a part time job at 14 and I think that a lot of kids would do part time work, but there isn’t the positions out there for kids
Yes it is so sad Jen that employers don’t take them until they are much older nowadays and really frustrating as 13 is still the legal minimum age for p/t work.
Agreed…with all of it. I feel like its an uphill battle to fight the worlds view of ‘instant gratification’ without needing to put in much, if any hard work. On a slight tangent, I was reading a study the other day which showed that people with depression actually felt higher levels of happiness when they undertook an act of kindness for someone else. In the study another group (also depressed) had the same amount of resources and was able to spend it on themselves as a treat, but it was the other group who did something for others that got most joy…how about that??! God’s word is spot on yet again!
I can fully believe that research Dee, I know I always feel much more fulfilled and content when I am serving others. Thanks a lot, Mich x
I am so with you on this! I’m afraid my work ethic is probably so strong it can be detrimental to me at times, so I have to be careful to also allow my kids to relax and enjoy time out. But if they commit to something they do it. Football in the rain, turning up to school on time, going to computer club even if they have a headache. Tough. Unless they’re properly ill, they do everything they’ve signed up to.
I had my first job at age 16 and it taught me so much about the value of money as well as being character building. I am determind to encourage my children to do the same.