It’s easy to learn Gods word and to know his promises but does that mean we really understand them, or that we feel the security that comes with them? Often not. The distance between my head and my heart is probably not even a couple of foot but actually this can sometimes be the longest journey.
But ‘why?’ you might ask and what I’ve been learning is that we put conditions on God’s love for us. Conditions that God has never imposed. His word says that we are enough, that we can’t do anything to increase His love for us, that He approves of us and that He delights in who we are. Notice that not once there does it mention what we do or the characteristics that we display. There is no small print in the bible, it is all above-board and clearly spelled out. There is no catch that says God loves evangelists more or that God loves those who can recite the bible from memory. It just simply says that he loves us and wants to be in a close and personal relationship with each one if us.
We have to be willing to accept the forgiveness that God extends us. We must believe it when He says that once forgiven He forgets our sins; that there is no list being kept of our indiscretions. We then have to go a step further and we have to forgive ourselves. We can be so hard on ourselves, expecting far more than is necessary. We do not have to be the best, have the greatest earnings or live the most exciting life. Who needs to be the envy of their friends? Not me but who needs to feel (really feel, like with your whole being feel) or experience the love of God? Probably all of us and I know for sure me.
I want to move to a position of experiential love. After having been a committed Christian for fourteen years I probably should already be fully in this place. I should feel that God absolutely loves me but right now my reality is that I know God loves me and that is head knowledge. It is part of my beliefs, it is because of my faith but I’m just working on the acceptance that there are no conditions and being able to just feel in my heart that I am good enough. I am accepted. He loves me. I don’t have to fulfil any particular mandate.
I need to feel free to lie on a bed for a whole day and do nothing but wallow in His love for me. To feel absolutely sure that even lying there in my nothingness I am enough. A couple of weekends ago I attended an Angela Kemm conference, where there was a fire tunnel and within it I was told that I am a cherished daughter of God, He sees my beauty, He knows my loving heart and that all labels have fallen off me. I just have to walk into my rightful place as a beloved daughter of the most high.
And I’m doing it. I’ve not been involved in negative speak this week, I’m busy building myself up and I’ve vowed to myself that when I do not like something in my life I either need to accept it and move on or I need to change it. I can not be negative about it as that will just pull me down. I’m so grateful for the fresh revelation that came last week that I still have a long way to go before I can say I am fully positive about my life and most importantly about my behaviour and attitude toward myself.
So here is to practise and perseverance. I’ll keep putting one foot in front of the other and being positive about all of it. Praying for those who test and infuriate me and taking actions to bless those who need me.
I am walking today as a beloved daughter of the king of all kings and I’m so grateful He loves me.
Thank you Daddy. From your daughter, Mich xx