Today is the first day of the rest of my life. What a cliché, right? But I don’t care as it is true.
I’ve been needing to lose weight for at least twenty years now, maybe longer and I’ve tried so many times and so many different things but nothing has ever stuck and I’ve remained big and unfit, and as a consequence my health has been worsening.
To be honest I’ve wanted to give up on myself in this area quite a few times. I’ve bored myself with the amount of times I’ve started a diet and given up within a month or two but I’m too precious to give up on. God never gives up on me, so how can I?
Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life. Isaiah 43:4 (ESV)
I also have three small people looking up to me and I need to show them the way. So there has to be change. I can’t imagine I’ll ever be a size 10 but I have to release myself from my chains and the warped thinking that I’ve had for so long. No longer must I be afraid of baggy skin and loss of self.
God has my back. For such a long time He has been asking me to get ready and be ‘fit for purpose’. He’s not revealed what that purpose is yet but of course it all comes in His timing and not mine. Perhaps I have to be ready before the purpose is revealed.
Today I took a first step, I attended a one day workshop run by FitFish, a Christian organisation that believe we all have to be balanced in our physical, emotional and spiritual selves (with God at the centre) so we can receive more of what God has in store for us. I first heard of FitFish at Spring Harvest earlier this year and I couldn’t attend their sessions there as they clashed with family time but when I got home and googled then saw they had an event in Eastbourne in May, I knew I had to attend.
As today drew close, I didn’t really want to go if I’m honest. I didn’t know anyone and the thought of exercising was not a tempting one but I am so glad I pushed through and went. I met a fabulous group of ladies and I am now feeling empowered to make changes. To let God be the complete guiding light in my life.
I have to remember to follow the rule of 80/20 and as long as I am making good choices and doing the right things 80% of the time then that is enough and I need to be kind to myself. Kindness is one of the fruits of the spirit and it is not OK to just be kind to others, I deserve my own kindness too. We all work best with encouragement rather than condemnation and the voice in my head needs to remember that.
I’ve pages of notes that I took today but I feel I need to summarise some key points here, so they are easy for me to look back on –
- I must know my motivation for losing weight and getting fit. In the past it has always been about how I look, to wear nicer clothes, to be a better role model to my kids, to enjoy my physical relationship with my husband more and so many other reasons. This time my primary reason to lose some weight and gain my health back is to be fit for God. To be obedient and to be how He wants me to be.
- I must acknowledge all successes, however small as they do all add up. 1/2 lb lost of great, a 20 minute walk is fabulous and resisting a cake is worthy of recognition.
- I need to sit with my feelings. In the past I have eaten to stifle them and not acknowledged how I feel or why. I now need to pray and sit with those feelings, they won’t kill me but the excess food might.
- I loved the example shared today about keeping perspective. As any serial dieter will know, when you make some bad choices you often feel ‘well I’ve blown it, I’ve messed the day up. I might as well pig out now’ but Gaynor (the FitFish founder) suggested this was like having a puncture in one tyre and then slashing the other three to spite yourself. I have to keep this at the forefront of my mind, it is so rational and brilliant!
- I need to regularly look at my weekly activities and then tick off those that energise me and those that drain me. If they drain me, get rid of them. It was a surprise today to do this exercise and make some realisations.
- I should get back to writing a food diary and recognise when I eat for reasons other than hunger.
- I need to set some goals. I’m going to do two at a time though to keep it real and achievable for me.
Goal 1 – I started this today, when I took all 3 kids for a power walk (they jogged). We can all get fit together and we need to do this at least 4 times a week for the next 4 weeks.
Goal 2 – To make good food choices that will lead to me losing 12lb (3lb a week) by 10th June for a wedding celebration we are attending.
I’m pleased to have got all this in writing. I now need to carry through and make sure these goals happen. Wish me luck or maybe more accurately what I should say is support me in prayer please.